Book Review: Twilight

Synopsis: Bella Swan moves to a new town and forms a dangerous and forbidden romance with Edward the sparkling vampire.

Pros:

• This is actually a well written book. A surprising achievement considering this is Stephenie Myers first published novel.
• No. I’m actually serious about that first point. The characters are consistent throughout the novel, they make sense given what we know about them, people do act in a semi-realistic way, there isn’t anything over the top, and the writing has it’s witty moments. For a romance novel, this is actually good writing.
• Vampires don’t seem overpowered or godly in this book. They are still shown as predators and dangerous. Even though Edward is shown to be a “vegetarian”, he is still on the verge of losing control at any moment. The only annoying thing about her vampires is the sparkling thing, and it’s a small part of the book.
• Even though Bella Swan is Stephanie Myer’s Mary Sue, she is portrayed in a negative light several times in the novel. Bella Swan is far from perfect and is presented as a flawed protagonist as opposed to the standard “I’m perfect in every way ‘Mary Sue’”

Cons

• God this book is incredibly creepy. Not in a vampires are scary sort of way, but in the “Holy crap, Edward is out right stalking this girl she seem to be completely into it” sort of creepy.
• For that matter I can’t empathise with either of the protagonists. Edward is a brooding, angst ridden, arrogant, control freak that’s only redeeming quality seems to be that he refuses to drink human blood. Bella Swan is an anti-social idiot that’s only redeeming quality seems to be that she wants what’s best for everyone. Unfortunately she often tries to make everyone happy in the most stupid way possible.
• The villain of this book is an utter waste and unimaginative. He seems to be in the book only for the purpose of trying to add danger and suspense.
• The novel is fairly boring. Unless you have a vampire fetish or a thing about psycho stalkers or a thing about idiot 16 year old girlfriends, this will be one of the most boring books you’ll ever read.

For People that Liked: Teen Romance Novels, Vampire Romance Novels.

Overall: Within the Teen Romance Novel genre and as a Vampire Romance Novel, Twilight is actually pretty good. But unless you are into the kind of relationship Bella and Edward have, this is going to be a disturbing and boring novel.

Yes, Twilight Is A Fairly Solid Novel

No, I’m not drunk or high. I actually mean that.

Really, this is an example of good writing. It’s not Shakespeare, but in writing terms it’s better then 80% of the stuff that comes out these days. And I realize how many phrases and words she reuses over and over again, but in comparison to the stuff coming out, it’s actually higher tier. It’s readable, the characters are distinguishable from each other, there are a few witty phrases, and while Myers shows she has a very low vocabulary, it’s forgivable. It is her first novel, after all.

The novel actually gets a lot of flack that it doesn’t deserve. In fact, I’m going to refute the three main criticisms of Twilight right now.

1. Bella Swan is Stephanie Myers Mary Sue and a Terrible Character

Yes, Bella is a stand in for a 16 year old Stephanie Myers, but unlike 99% of all Mary Sues, Myers actually show some restraint. Most of the time when Mary Sues appear, they are flawless people that are  intelligent, amazingly attractive, an incredibly powerful. Stephanie Myer’s Mary Sue doesn’t have super powers, is only moderately attractive, is shown to be fairly stupid, and is a very flawed individual.

“But wait!” you say. “What about the beginning of the book where everyone is nice to her and seems to be really attracted to her and she keeps going how she hates her life?! Doesn’t that show that Bella is a horrible person and this wouldn’t ever happen in real life? Isn’t this Myers living out her fantasy of everyone loving her?”

“NO!” I say. ”That part of the novel is my favorite and serves as an example of good character development.”

Bella’s feelings that she hates the world  and shuns people being nice to her is a normal reaction for a 16 year old girl going through what she is going through.  Her parents just got divorced, she was likely mocked throughout Junior High, she just moved away from her friends, and she probably just hit puberty– I’m sorry, but she isn’t going to be little Miss. Sunshine.  It’s not uncommon for someone to shun others when they are sad and depressed and socially awkward. And as for people being nice to her and asking her out on dates, it’s also called being the new girl who is attractive and going to a small town where everyone already knows each other and they are all desperate to talk to someone new.

The scene establishes Bella’s current state of mind and that Bella is a bias and flawed narrator. As a reader, we know that we cannot trust Bella’s judgement in the novel and I’d say the difference between what is going on in the novel versus what Bella thinks is happening is the strongest part of Myers writing. Without scenes like this, the incredibily stupid decisions Bella takes during the coarse of the novel (meeting a man she thinks is a vampire, alone, and in a forest) would be unbelievable.

2. Sparkling Vegetarian Vampires are Dumb

I actually like Twilights concept of Vampires. It’s nice to see relatively low powered Vampire around in a genre polluted with creatures that have near god like abilities. And with the cliche of the Vampire trying to be good and not kill people, it is nice to see it explained as a very difficult thing for a Vampire to do, especially since it  involve some kind of cheat like he only needs a little bit of human blood or got his soul back. Myer’s brilliantly decided to avoid the route of making him simply a good vampire, but a recovering heroin addict, a choice that makes him more interesting then half of literature’s vampire characters.

As for the whole sparklie thing, I can get over it. It’s just a way for Myers to explain why Edward doesn’t burn in sunlight AND give a reason why it’s hard for him to hide that he’s a Vampire. The scene itself isn’t a major plot point and I’d guess she put it in there for comic relief. Considering the stupid stuff I’ve seen in the genre, sparkling vampires aren’t the worst thing in the world. 

3. The Book is BoringThis is a criticism that I do agree with, but I think it’s a bit exaggerated.

The book is divided into three parts: “OMG what exactly is Edward?”, “Edward explains what being a vampire is”, and “OMG a vampire who is not Edward is after Bella.” Unfortunately all three parts fall flat. Everyone that reads this book knows that Edward is a vampire, so playing up that mystery angle feels dumb. Aside from the sparkling stuff Edward is a pretty standard vampire that we’re read a hundred times, so going over what Myer’s Vampires are like is repetitive. And as for the vampire that goes after Bella, no one is seriously going to believe her life is in danger when there are three more books in the saga.

There are no compelling subplots or any subplots in the novel. The reader is informed that the other kids in Bella’s school are doing fun and interesting things, we know that Bella’s dad is going through a divorce, and we have some indication that the ‘evil vampire’ has a history with one of the good vampires. But none of these ideas are expanded upon in the novel and they just feel like they are there as background noise.

The only characters that are really developed are Bella and Edward. And the only plot that Bella and Edward have is their awkward romance. So unless you are interested in the romance plot, this book will be boring. However, even if you do like romance stories you might have a different issue.

The Problem with This Book, is That It’s Incredibly Creepy

Here’s the book when we remove the idea that Edward is a vampire:

A man recovering from his murder addiction and his romance with a depressed 16 year old girl who has a death wish.

The relationship of a possessive and controlling stalker and the angsty sixteen year old girl that doesn’t know better.

Love shared between a 30+ year old man who is desperately trying to resist the temptation of sleeping with the 16 year old girl that thinks he’s attractive and wants to lose her virginity to him. That’s right, the whole thing about Bella wanting to be a vampire is an analogy for her losing her virginity.

There’s no getting around this. Edward is a horrible boyfriend. If Edward would date my daughter, I’d murder him. I would shoot stone cold dead, find out he’s a vampire, then cut off his head screaming “I knew it”. And whenever my wonderful daughter Bella would ask about him, I’d play as dumb as George W. Bush. Edward is the definition of guys that I hope my daughter never date, yet somehow his character has come to symbolize the epitome of romance.

And that is something that truly terrifies me– so many women actually think that Edward is romantic. Millions of women actually believe that romance is meeting a guy that wants to control everything you do and shows his love by stalking you. But then again, this seems to be an unfortunate fact that romance writers have exploited for centuries.

The whole romance genre is littered with relationships that are just as scary as Bella and Edwards relationship– Pamela and her insane jailer Mr. B_______, Jayne Eyre’s romance with “Mr. I keep my wives trapped in my attic Rochester”, Catherine’s statement of “I am Heathcliff, the man destined to destroy the lives of all those I love”, Desdemona and her love of making Othello jealous, and so on. The fact is large sections of the genre’s famous male leads are terryfing monsters, and it’s unfair to judge Twilight for following in their footsteps. To condemn Twilight is to condemn the entire romance genre as crap. Crap that should be gathered into a pile and lit aflame to the cheers and jubilations of people everywhere.

So if you like books from English literature’s creepy genre of romance novels, you’ll probably like Twilight. If not, then the only reason to read this book is to check if you are still sane.

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